January 20

January 20. We’ve spent a few days in Lake Worth. It’s been more aptly named Lake Worthless by the cruising community because of the theft problems and the lack of someplace decent to land your dinghy. There’s just a tiny wedge of sand that’s barely big enough for 6 dinghies at low tide. On the plus side though is a West Marine within walking distance and a supermarket even closer.

Yesterday Christy found a place within walking distance to have the dogs groomed. She and Marcia walked the dogs there and had lunch and did some shopping while the dogs were made to look like Schnauzers again. So of course this morning after pooping the dogs at 0600 I thought that I should take a little extra care in wiping the dogs wet feet when I brought them back to the boat. So I hoist both dogs up onto the boat from the dinghy just like every other day and when I climb up with them I spend a little more time than usual wiping the dog’s feet with a dry towel. Then as I send the dogs forward to get into the cockpit I turn around and realize that I forgot to tie the dinghy to the boat.

It has now drifted a hundred feet away and is getting further by the moment. Shit. I strip off my hoody, tee shirt and my shoes and dive into the water to chase after the dinghy. Wow, the water is warm. Thank you Jesus. Before I dove in I banged on the hull and called Christy up on deck, she arrives topside just as I’m dragging the dinghy back to the boat. She’s naked and screaming “Oh my God how’d you fall into the water?”. I get the dinghy tied to the boat; send her below with an explanation of what happened. Stupid dinghy.

Okay, hoist the outboard and the dinghy, check the fluids, take a quick shower and its time to weigh anchor. All goes well and we’re on our way. Today will be a fifty mile trip to Fort Lauderdale. We are only 4 miles from the Lake Worth inlet which is a nice, Class A inlet. If we travel on the inside down the ICW we will have to open 20 bridges but if we go out into the ocean we will only have to open 1. No brainer.

The wind was from the north at 12 knots or so and we had a wonderful sail south. We dragged a hand line behind the boat in the hopes of catching a fresh fish samich. No luck fishing though, just as well as the day was to nice to even think about cleaning a fish on deck today.

We did encounter schools of flying fish today, it was the first time Christy or I had ever seen them. It was bizarre to watch how far they could fly and even change direction in mid flight. The water was the most beautiful blue today as well.

When we got to Port Everglades, another nice Class A inlet it was just a quick 2 mile trip to Lake Sylvia our intended stop for the night. The 2 mile trip was an eye opener, most cruisers won’t travel on the weekends here in Florida as most of the boat operators here are completely clueless nitwits. We saw more people be less considerate and do more stupid shit in 2 miles than we’ve seen in the last 1300 miles. We got into Lake Sylvia at about 1500 hours and spent the next hour and a half watching the worst display of anchoring that we’ve ever witnessed. These people are making every mistake in the book and some of them seem to be writing a few of their own chapters as well. It was wonderful entertainment and went very nicely with our post anchoring cocktails.

Fort Lauderdale is called Fort La Ti Da or Fort Liquordale by the cruising community. This place just oozes money and excess. When it was time to walk the dogs this evening we were pretty much stuck for someplace convenient as we are in a very small lake with just a narrow entrance from the ICW. The lake is surrounded on all sides by opulent houses and manicured properties. However, there was one home under construction with the bulk heading already done, looked like an invitation to me. Under the cover of darkness we took the dogs to shore to this home. Christy waited in the dinghy while I took the dogs through the yard and out to the street to take care of business. Of course the yard they both just had to have was so impeccably maintained it looked as if the lawn had just been combed. It was evidently very special to the dogs as it brought about simultaneous dumping with the need for just one bag. Awesome. The coveted puppy trifecta.

Another addition for the dictionary:

Bitch Wings……….If you’re concerned about the new arrival into the anchorages obvious lack of anchoring skills you can go stand on the bow of your boat and stare. If your disapproval goes unheeded you put your hands on your hips with both elbows sticking out, these are your Bitch Wings.
Upon seeing the Bitch Wings even the most oblivious weekend boater will become instantly aware of his boat handling shortcomings and remove himself and his vessel from your presence.
If you decide to use the Bitch Wings on your own please be forewarned. If, while in the Bitch Wing stance you decide to throw in a loud “Are you kidding me?” or an even more thoughtless “What The F**k?” there is a good chance that you can make the recipient instantly impotent and I’ve even heard of extreme cases where the mans genitals actually fell from his body to the deck of his boat. Use the power wisely.

Boat Name of the Day………..A Sportfisherman named “Duck Duck Goose” Made me laugh when we heard it on the radio because I just pictured a grown man running around in circles chasing his fishing buddies every time he said Duck Duck Goose.