So I'm sitting in traffic waiting at a red light waiting to turn to port. There’s 2 lanes dedicated for port turns and 1 lane for going either straight or to starboard. I'm the fourth vehicle in the left lane amongst a shit ton of cars.
The light changes to green and the first 2 cars in my lane move along. The guy in front of me is just sitting there. After a few seconds I give one of those polite little bips on the horn. You know, kinda like “pardon me my fellow traveler, the traffic in front of you has departed and I'm not sure why this wasn't obvious to you but perhaps now you might endeavor to get along as well so we all don't have to sit through this fucking light again”.
I can see his eyes rise up to the rear view mirror and then drop back down towards his lap. Either he and his penis are deep in a very important conversation or hes texting. He either didn't notice that the light has changed and the cars in front of him are long gone or hes just an asshole. Either way, the lights green dude, lets get moving. So I lay into the horn in one of those prolonged blasts as are the people behind me.
Its about this time that I realize that one of the cars in the lane next to me has stopped abreast of me. I look over and its a uniformed cop in a marked car. Right at this moment the genius in the car in front of me sticks his hand up through the sunroof and flips me off while still clutching his cellphone as he pulls away. I turn my head and pull my sunglasses down on my nose and stare over them at the cop. He kinda smirked at me and pulled ahead of me as we made our turns.
He then proceeded to pull Mr. Cellphone over. While being fortunate to witness Karma dishing out a dose of cosmic justice I still had to gloat a bit. As I slowly rolled by Mr. Cellphone I gave him another bip on the horn and when he looked up I held my hand to my head and gave him the international sign for “call me”.