June 17, 2012.

The hand of God is upon us. Anybody who really knows me just read that and said WTH? I have a real hard time believing in a higher power in charge of everything. I understand that organized religion provides great comfort and fellowship for millions of people. I don't care if you pray, worship, chant or tap dance at midnight under an Elm tree. As long as it makes you happy and doesn't hurt anyone else then I'm all for it.

I say that I live my life according to Karma. I try to make a positive impact with everyone that I interact with. Could you imagine the state of the middle east if everyone just tried to be pleasant to everyone else rather than blowing each other to bits in the name of religion. Anyway....

The tall ship Sailabration was going on in Baltimore and we had a fantastic offer to attend. There were dozens of tall ships in the harbor complimented by a Blue Angles air show on Saturday. My boss was borrowing a friends multi million dollar power yacht and taking a dozen or so friends up to Baltimore for the festivities. And we were invited. Woo-hooo.

So I was pretty excited about going until I shared Saturdays plan with Christy. That was when she told me we weren't going. Excuse me? Why the hell not? She laid out her concerns. It was going to be about a 6 or 8 hour day, on a boat with strangers. We don't know anybody, what if they get seasick, what happens if somebody brings a screaming infant? Seriously. Those are your concerns?

I can get along with anyone. So what if they're strangers, I can be strange too. Vomit, just another use for scuppers, not a valid concern. Lazarette is actually French for “screaming baby receptacle”. Just open up the lid, slip the screaming child inside amongst the fenders and docklines, close it up tight and the noise goes away. Come on Honey, we're going. She tells me I can go, but she is not. I'm bright enough not to accept that offer. But Honey, its tall ships AND the Blue Angels. Nope, not going. Crap.

So we were at an impasse with no resolution in sight. And that was when a higher being settled the matter for us. At 0700 on Saturday morning our head clogged. And not just any clog. I'm talking a clog of biblical proportions. A clog so heinous that it required the complete removal of every section of sanitation hose to find and remove the blockage. Of course, it was in the last section I removed but I did find it. Lets just say it took several hours with head funk running everywhere to remedy.

The only bright spot of the whole debacle was that the town pump out boat arrived earlier than anticipated and relieved me of having to try to deal with this mess with a full fecal tank. Praise God.